If you do call yourself a runner, can you handle the truth?

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The Rage
If you love the super hero Obviousman® and comic characters, Bitchy Bitch, Cynical Man, Too Much Coffee Man and Migraine Boy, you won't be able to resist The Rage's spewing rants on 10k Truth and Running.

"Rage cannot be hidden, it can only be dissembled. This dissembling deludes the thoughtless, and strengthens rage and adds, to rage, contempt." - James Baldwin

Area 51

It's all about concealment, baby. The nation's best kept secrets are in Area 51, and I'm now on the inside...and I can tell you from my front row seat, there ain't no aliens here. No warp drive. No botox. And there ain't no room for any wusses here, baby. You know the drill. Take it out hard. Pretend it doesn't hurt. And when that 20-something is still behind you sucking up all the air in the finishers shoot, make sure you casually take off your skull cap so they can a real good look at the 'ol dome...you know what I'm talkin' about...?

Rage (10/19/07)

Hey Rage & Co.,

I just stumbled on this site, and I like that you are keeping it real. I'm an Oregon/Idaho native but I'm kicking it in Europe for a year or two. I have to say that your rant in the Q&A archive about American distance running is right on the money. I've spectated several of the pro Cross-Country circuit races here and two months ago snuck in to watch the European Indoor Track and Field Championships. Ridiculous.

American middle and long-distance runners can barely touch our European counterparts. I'm curious if you have an opinion on WHY...where is the American running scene failing to turn out champs who can hack it? There are a few notable exceptions, but why, in general, are we just not as quality? What do you think we could do to fix it? I mean, if Lance can come in and school the Euros at their own game on a bike, can't runners step up somehow?

Just curious as to your perspective. Keep spreading the good word. You, and Europe, have opened my eyes to the Truth.

- S. 4/16/05

P.S. I like your song about the Palouse, even though I'm a Vandal, not a Coug.

Dear S.,

The short answer is that Americans can't handle The Truth. Gerry Lindgren summed it up the best when he finally broke decades of silence and published his autobiography and concluded...

"...we are looking at the wrong reasons for running...."

In case you're too young to remember, there must be someone left on the WSU campus who might still remember that he won 11 NCAA titles at Washington State and beat Steve Prefontaine, Billy Mills and Jim Ryan.

Lindgren said the goal shouldn't be to achieve personal glory. Nuf said. That rules out kids coming up these days are overexposed to whining, dining, and a lifestyle that will eventually lead to an average of 9 years of watching television by the time they are 65. Lindgren believes in running to improve the human condition. He believes in push each other to excel and suggests broking records are indicators that the human condition is improving. Nice try, Ger, but Americans would never get on board with that. Way too idealistic. Condition schmondition. Give me a break. Losers!

Lindgren might have got us on the right path, but deep down, my theory is that the demise of American distance running was Jimmy Carter's fault. He might have got a Nobel but couldn't even run faster than the guys wearing the dark sunglasses and suits...carrying fully automatic weapons and spare clips taped around their ankles, for God's sake! I would correctly argue that he set American distance running back forever when he did his best Regan Eberhart imitation to a national audience. Bummer. (Sorry Regan, but it's true. Some folks actually thought it was Jimmy Carter at the JTB!)

It is my firm belief that the only one that can save American distance running is Karl Rove. If we can't get there legit, we need to find a way to spin our way back to world prominence. You can't tell me that hasn't worked. The trick is, you just can't give a shit. You just need to convince people that some American really was on the track and did win it even though they couldn't really see him/her.

And that's The Truth. The Rage (4/26/05)

Follow-up, a Challenge...

Dear Rage,

It appears that you are using my name without permission and using innuendo as well as obscure history to make a point. The only natural and logical consequence to this behavior is that you need to be schooled. My name and honor have been challenged. I now must come out of retirement and school the Rage in my area of expertise, the 50 mile ultra with a full pack. OK Rage, the gauntlet is now thrown. I challenge you to a 50 mile trail ultra, at elevation, with a full pack. Come and get it if you've got the guts. If not then you best retract your impolite comments towards my person.

Regan Eberhart (5/13/05)

PS Come and get it, trash talker.

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Date and time page last updated: 10/19/2007 11:29 AM